Brain-Fried.

Buzzing like a set of hair crack clippers after Skinhead, the next day I headed out with Ben Alsford. He’d been skiing in the Alps for the last few months so he was just looking to second some routes, get a bit of fitness back and have a catch-up. This worked out perfectly as I had set myself a challenge of climbing an E6 everyday for a week; seven in seven. I was lined up for the second of seven. For a change we headed to the Pass, as soon as we arrived it started raining and so, once more, we made off for Gogarth. Without any real objective we dropped down to Main Cliff. Eyeing up potential routes from the bottom of Eraserhead (E6 6a), the penny dropped and I set off, straight up. The first pitch provided a sustained E4, taking in a great variety of wall climbing and would be a great way to access the Positron headwall. As I belayed Ben up I felt so at home. I looked to the sea and recieved a ‘paddling ovation’ from the seal of approval. Ben and I switched at the stance and I swung off onto ‘the finger’ that points the way. I arranged my gear and surged on up the arête on positive edges, revelling in the run-out and the comfort of 5c moves. Ben followed with a rucksack and without a nut-key allowing him to optimise training potential as he hung around trying to remove my ‘beat in’ wires (there’s an offset blue wire left in Positron for you, Bubbles).

The day after, The Ullrich and I abseiled down the steep grass into the forgotten world of Easter Island Gully. I’d never been down here until now, everything I looked at made my arms feel tired. I whipped up a shady Supercrack (E3 5c) to warm up, instead getting numb hands and a whisper from fatigue. Indecision struck as all the appealing lines lay in the shade, eventually driving George into the sun on The Ancient Mariner (E5 6b). The route was disappointing and lacked any kind of distinction except for a hard crux out of a slim groove. George managed to make a necky slap to a ledge and grovel out of danger, I struggled up on second until I took a hang and a blind pocket made itself known. After a long lunch I prepared for the third of seven; For Madmen Only (E6 6b). The start is shared with Annhilator (E5 6b) so I could scamper off up this if it felt like too much. At the junction I didn’t even look towards For Madmen Only, my arms were torched, my neurons were fried and a cam leaped from my harness into the drink. I’m too sane. Mission failed.

After a rest day, Jemma and I made the bank holiday pilgrimage to sunny Pembroke. Jemma led off on Suspense (E4 5c),  while, at the bottom of Stennis Ford, tension mounted as I belayed and the sea inched and yarded, closer and closer. The belay was built in the nick of time, and I managed to hop across the rocks to the bottom of the route. After the first lunch of the day we abbed back down for me to try Ghost Train (E6 6b). After my success on Skinhead and a much needed rest day, I felt confident and cocky about the formality ahead.

The start felt harder than I expected, even though I expected it to be hard. I arrived at the big break before the big run-out with a bit of a pump and a fragmented focus. I clipped the threads and shook out for a few seconds, the whistle sounded. I climbed aboard. At the first committing move I should’ve reversed, but, I was haunted by haughtiness and I kept going like a man possessed. A long way above the threads now, I felt spooked. I made a demonic attack for the next thread, clipping in just as my forearms completely coagulated. I remembered to breathe again. I hung here for an age, regrouping and de-pumping. At the top it did not feel good. I felt disappointed in my fitness, my movement and mostly my arrogance. I totally underestimated the route and things could have turned out a lot worse. I was de-psyched by the whole situation, but it was an important lesson to learn.

 After our second lunch, we moved on to Caff’s lunch, finished this and headed over to The Leap. Jemma conquered intimidation and cruised up Bloody Sunday (E4 6a) and I conquered an old nemesis by slaying The Minotaur (E5 6b). Jemma kicked off the Sunday with a quick lead of Star Wars (E4 5c). I couldn’t decide what to do, I felt disillusioned and a bit useless after yesterday, so we drove round to visit a new area near Flimston Bay.

 At this end of Pembroke the rugged coastline boasts an array of compelling arches, coves and sea stacks, I can’t believe it doesn’t see more attention. Upon arrival we found that much of the area is bird banned, so we abbed into the leaning face of Mosaic Walls. Psyched up again by the impressive coastline and loads of new climbs I jumped on Bristol Cream (E6 6b). The wall was chronically greasy, it felt like you could ping off at any second, so I had a few ‘up and downs’ chalking the holds and arranging gear. When I finally went for it, it wasn’t as bad as I had expected, the holds were more positive than I imagined and it got less greasy with height. I was re-invigoured and enjoying it again. On second, Jemma dropped a wire so we went back down for it (having already lost half my rack this week). She led us out up the tremendously steep and butch classic; Wallbanger (E4 5c), then we headed North ready for a morning at Carreg-y-Barcud. 

I scanned ‘The Barcud’, this was another new venue to me and in contrast the walls were clean, smooth and slabby and the crowds and hot, sunny weather gave it a friendly ‘playground’ atmosphere. Feeling feline, Jemma set the ball rolling, delicately padding up Kitten Claws (E3 5c). I then took up the sharp-end for the sublime Mean Feat (E5 6a). Slabs aren’t necessarily my cup of tea but I thought this was totally brilliant, the blank-looking headwall secured the route as my favourite of the trip. With time for one more, I jumped quickly on Beyond the Beyond (E5 6b). The description read; ‘...the crux is at the very top, but the whole affair is harder for the short’. Am I ‘the short’? Arriving at the top crux, it was confirmed, I am the short. Heinously thin crimps, mono finger stacks and smears for feet left me with a tenuous slap for the finish. I held the top... just. I think I may have just done my first 6c on a trad route. We drove back to Gwynedd ready for a rest day...

...but Tuesday came, the weather was good and I can’t say no. The aim was; Wen Zawn’s Mr Softy (E6 6b). We went and warmed up in the 3-D complex of Yellow Walls. We set off on Pergyl (E3 5c), but with only an old route description to go by we ended up joining The Drunk (E6 6b) after its crux. We hadn’t realised and carried on trying to make the guidebook description fit, leading us into some  fresh ground to give quite an interesting and worthwhile new diagonal line; You (E4 6a). At the top of the crag, all my psyche had gone, the thought of hanging around on sea cliffs, pulling on these stiff fingers and yarding with these sore shoulders was horrible. I was unbelievably relieved when George announced his concerns about doing anymore climbing. He was suffering from a stag-do hangover, I was consumed by a full mind and body fatigue, so the pair of us Mr Softy’s threw in the trowel and enjoyed a nice, relaxing BBQ at Fingers’ new house instead. It’s time to put concerted effort into resting.

E-sicks.

On the 20^th May George Ullrich and I are off to try The Long Hope Route (E7 6c). Dubbed as ‘The most adventurous route in Britain’; this 400m, 23-pitch behemoth, on the remote Scottish Isle of Hoy, was originally aided over nine continuous days by Ed Drummond & Oliver Hill in 1970. Since then the best attempt on the wall has been a free ascent over four discontinuous days by the handy pair; John Arran and Dave Turnbull in 1997. Yet for some ludicrously optimistic reason we are going to try and do it in a day, or at the very least, spending a night on the wall and doing it in two days.

When the plan was whimsically hatched back in January time, it seemed like long enough away to detach myself from the reality and imagine the scenario as though ‘someone else’ were going there. Now only three weeks away from my this mammoth challenge I’m fully aware that it will be me on St John’s Head and in a feverish attempt to have any vague chance of success I have to get A LOT fitter, A LOT better, A LOT faster and A LOT braver. There has never been a better excuse to climb all day, every day.

Last Tuesday the youthful youth; Callum Muskett and I went to Gogarth. He wanted to try Yellow Shark (E7 6b) on Yellow Walls. I usually find it a little intimidating climbing with Callum as the concept of fear seems to completely evade him, leaving me feeling yellow-bellied and lily-livered. Pulling into the car park, Callum admitted his apprehension at diving in there without chainmail and thankfully for both of us the whole cliff was greasy and damp so we swarmed out up Creeping Leema (E3 5c). We bailed over to Upper Tier and I took up the sharp end for the long, looming crack of The Cruise (E5 6b). I had put off trying this for ages because of the appearance and the rumours, but, the route went well. I was confidently slapping in a runner and pressing on, even the top flared scoop went by in calm control. I realised I should be getting on E6’s now.
I followed Callum up The Horrorshow; written up as a bold, steady and disappointing E4/5 wall climb, we found quite the opposite; safe, superb, technical and E6. We dropped down onto Main Cliff and attempted Food and Drink (E6 6b). I took up the first pitch, following an E4 corner to a roof. I stuffed in some cams, covered greasy undercuts in chalk and went for it. Round the roof, I slapped wildly and with total conviction up opposing sidepulls until a custard pump set in hard and I couldn’t see any more holds. I laid one on out left for my last stand, but I was off. Totally buzzing and 30ft lower than I was a second ago, I lowered to the deck and watched in shock as Callum didn’t pull the ropes, top-roped up and proceeded to fall in the same place as myself, twice. It must be hard up there...

Wednesday: Rain poured across Gwynedd, and so, with the dry wit of Lee Roberts, the super psyched Rob Pitt and rock climbing’s Peter Pan; Jon Ratcliffe we headed for Dinbren. This stumpy, little limestone outcrop, nestled high in Denbighshire, delivers more than it promises and we all had a productive day. Rob and Lee smashed out a series of sport routes before getting embroiled in a gnarly 7b+, finally unlocking its sequence just as the arms gave in. Jon endeavoured to tick all three ‘Dinbren Right Wing E3 Classics’, in which he was successful, aside from the fact there are actually five Dinbren Right Wing E3 Classics. As I was the only one who had never been there before, and as I’m half their age, they sandbagged me into the crag classic Climb High (E4 6b). All was going well up to the crux when I was given duff beta and persuaded to traverse right and mantle a crimpy seam. In hindsight, I did think it was weird that I wasn’t mantling on the mantleshelf.

Friday: DMM Dougie and I went back to Main Cliff. Strong winds and big seas washed away our original plan of doing one of the big Main Cliff E5’s. Instead Dougie cruised up Aardvark (E3 6a) leaving me beneath the oddly compelling Coming on Strong (E6 6c). I had to give it a shot. I knew nothing about it other than Pat Littlejohn did the first ascent so it was probably nails. Yep, it was nails (and disappointingly contrived, wandering in and out of Achilles). With an hour of sunlight left Dougie wolfed down Branflake (E2 5b), a fibrous jamming crack on Holyhead Mountain.

Saturday: Guy VG and his band of merry men were heading for Rhoscolyn all fancying their chances on the classic DWS Electric Blue (E4 5c), so Jemma and I went to meet them, not wanting to miss out on Guy shitting his pants. The weather was perfect, Murdoch and Bullock rocked up too, there were eight people at a grit-free trad crag!! After a quick warm-up Jemma got on the Warpath (E5 6a), she stormed through the lower defences like an angry panzer and was soon behind enemy lines; over the crux roof. However, three days of stamina training caught up with her, cams were frantically tossed over the shoulder when they didn’t fit, the elbows were out and eventually the lactic Nazis caught up with her and she was airbourne. I took over the lead, and having done it before, I got to really enjoy the headwall this time round.
We rapped down into Fallen block Zawn straight onto Guy’s belay creating a total mess with ropes everywhere, a veritable ‘rat’s nest’. Once some understanding of who was tied to what was established, I launched skyward with a vengeance on Dreams and Screams (E6 6b). I tried this last October after beating my fear of falling, inevitably falling off. I had doubted whether today would be any different. My new streamlined, confident and aggressive approach was serving me well and I was at the slopey, pre-crux shake out in a flash. Forearms primed, gear in place, I tore onwards, slapped in a big, blue cam, and rode the layback flake to victory. I was barely pumped on top and I finally acknowledged that I am on the form of my life. That means only one thing...

Tangled Humans. Liam Postlethwaite collection.

http://vimeo.com/65258675 Liam, Mark and Tim on Electric Blue.

Tuesday morning, the sun beamed outside, it was another perfect day, I sat playing Donkey Kong to distract myself. I oiled my cams, discarded rotten carabiners then I got the phonecall I’d been waiting for ‘ok, I’m ready’. I jumped in the van, cranked the stereo up to eleven and blared out George Baker’s; Little Green Bag (That’s actually a lie, but, retrospectively it would’ve been a good song choice). I picked up George from work and headed for Main Cliff. I didn’t talk very much, nerves came and went like the tide. Arriving at the base of the cliff, George led off on pitch one. Nagging doubts came into my mind, I searched my mind for excuses, yet, there were none. Conditions were prime, I’d had a rest day, the sun was shining and after a lengthy period of self talk a smorgasbord of  brit pop songs stating reassuring little phrases such as ‘ you know it’s gonna be ok’ and ‘everything’s gonna be alright’ sprang freely to mind. I seconded pitch one. I had to go through with this, I felt like everything I had achieved so far this year would be consolidated or shattered through my actions here. My confidence, commitment and perhaps legs depended on success on this next pitch. I envisaged ‘The Bucket-Seat Belay’ at the top of the route, I was ready to do the dance. Skinhead Moonstomp, here I come!

I set off with a veneer of confidence on the best named route in the world. The first few metres went by without much fuss and only mild trepidation. I arrived beneath the headwall at ‘the resting place’ with eyes full of chalk, but, I’d imagined myself here so much that I was totally thrown; it was nothing how I had expected. I bimbled around aimlessly, confused and intimidated. ‘Up there?... Seriously?... Up?... There?’. I didn’t know what to do with myself, there was no more gear to place as a distraction, it was breathing time. I focussed in on the reasons to continue; you can’t back off now, not without trying. You’re going well, you’re fit, you’re confident above gear and the air beneath you is particularly thin today. You’ll cut through it like a feathery knife if you fall. ‘The bucket seat belay’ will feel fantastic under your buttocks. This is THE route you’ve always wanted to do, don’t taint it with a retreat, don’t wait till you know you can do it. I had drained ‘the resting place’ of its healing mana, I had seen the sequence and my eyes were sufficiently full of chalk. Go. Go now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHDBn7TL4JM Symarip-Skinhead Moonstomp.

At ‘The Bucket Seat Belay’ I looked out to sea (I pondered how the stretched and golden reflection of the setting sun always shone directly at me whenever I witnessed it? Not my smartest moment.), a tropically warm (chalk bearing) breeze drifted up the wall and I felt inexplicably content, savagely fit, nobly brave, arrogantly smug and slightly blinded. I felt like the world was my audience and became uncontrollably compelled to yell ‘Fuck you!’, so I did. I don’t know why though. I quite like the world.

Every Dog has it's Silver Lining

Back from Spain I couldn't wait to test out my new arms. I made an erratic foray down North Stack Wall, with Gwen Lancashire, on a damp evening to try A Wreath of Deadly Nightshade (E7 6b), before quickly realising it was too dark, too wet and too slabby to engage the Latino forearms.
The next attempt was made on South Stack area with Jemma Powell. After having done zero routes for over four years, she whistled up Northwest Passage (E1 5b) placing all of three runners.
Then we dropped into Yellow Walls. I followed the awkward traverse pitch of Creeping Lemma (E2 5b), tentatively, again with few runners, to access the top pitch of Ludwig (E6 6b).

Ironically, the main difficulty I encountered on this route was composing myself. On the crux section, it took a few reconnaissance missions to spot the sequence and each time I returned to my ‘safe place’ my pulse and breathing reached allegro. An inner panic I could dispel with a deep breath last year was taking a whole can of mind beans to clear. I announced the problem to Jemma, belaying just out of sight, she said to ‘use it to my advantage’. Having absolutely no idea what was meant by this, I pressed on into the crux proper. Upon reaching ‘the point of no return’ my heart rate exploded and in a brief, yet eternal crescendo I made a wild slap for a fragile, crimpy flake. I barn-doored. The flake creaked. I squeaked. The flake held, and I scrabbled frantically to get established in the groove above. I gave a roar of relief then convulsed a little through the force of a few hundred BPM pumping through my veins. The top groove rounded off the experience nicely, teasing the ticker right to the top.

The next week Charlie T, Laura P, Timmy P, Scooby and I headed to Northumberland to see our old Uni pals; the man full of power and soul; Kieran King, and the increasingly talented/lanky; Mikey Goldthorp. Unfortunately, I had a major skin malfunction a few days before, so my ‘cling-filmy’ tips stopped me from being able to pull hard, but I had a great time socialising and watching everyone else bear down. Notably Tim’s determination on the dynamic Barbastelle (7A), Laura’s gristle on Darth (6C), Kieran’s futuristic efforts on Transformer (7C), Mikey’s ability to climb pretty much everything and, in first place, Charlie’s tenacious, cool-headed send of Down Boy, Down (7A). The best thing about the trip, however, was that it gave the perfect send off for my little brown dog; Scooby. After a week of running around the moors, unleashed, lots of ‘Scooby Snacks’ with the guys, and plenty of attention, she received... the wrong kind of stroke. In a glorious, archetypal swansong of piss, yawns and two sodden sets of bed sheets, she was gone.

The compelling Klondyke Wall (E2 5c). Kieran King Kollection.

Inspired by tenacity and the delicacy of life I’d witnessed, I jumped straight on Alien (E6 6b) at Main Cliff. Like a crab on the moon I laybacked diagonally up along the greasy, undercut flakes past a few powerful sections, arriving at a very burly ‘rest’ on a wobbly, undercut tooth. Within a minute or two I had completely pumped out on the ‘rest’. I slumped onto the rope in a moment of disheartened weakness and as I did, my chalkbag popped off, landing very close to the sea. I retreated from a cam and a wire, and Jemma and I returned to the Upper Tier, where she struck up Strike (E4 6a) with typically few runners and minimal fuss.

By this time ‘the magic hour’ was upon us, the white walls turned to gold and the late light of summer revealed another layer of psyche. Encouraged by the brilliant light and the unfamiliar tranquillity of the sea, I threw caution and pumped arms to the wind and jumped on the serious and reachy; Blackleg (E6 6a). Having failed to make the crux reach without a tight rope a few years ago, there was an uncertain orangey-glow in the air. I moved uncharacteristically confidently up the flaky wall to arrive at the crux. I put my faith in a pair of small wires in smaller flakes and drove on through, mantling on a two-finger pocket and latching the jug of glory at full stretch. Photosynthesis.

With a cam and a nut to retrieve (a significant proportion of my current capital!), it was obligatory to try Alien again. With Tim Newton, I returned to the best cliff in the England and Wales. Armed with knowledge and fresh pipes, I stormed up the wild rugosities. At the last hard move before the bicep-burning rest, my rope Z-clipped itself, I was forced to untangle the Z mid move; guns a blazing. I managed to get it sorted but I’d spent some crucial rounds. At the killer shakeout, I fiddled in an extra cam, reaffirmed my suspected sequence and launched up the overhanging fin above. Compressing like a hungry alligator, I squeezed the life from my arms and made a last ditch snatch for a jug and sanctuary... I was out of ammo.
A short flight later, I felt disappointed, then chuffed that I had committed above my gear and took the lob, without a second thought. After a quick shakeout, I got back on the extra-terrestrial horse, smashed up the flakes, smashed up the fin, smashed up the groove, smashed my nuts in and whooped with hard-won triumph. E5 my arse.

I returned the next day with Jimmy ‘Fingers’ Marjot for a crack at Dinosaur (E5 6a). I had been on this before and bailed off a wire at the greasy crux. Today I got there feeling much better, the crux was gopping, but I had nothing to lose and I snatched my way out of the chimney and up the funky wall above. Jimmy blitzed the wacky groove on pitch two, and the rest, as they say, is prehistory.

Friday: Sam Underhill and I tried Gogarth again, but the whole of Holy Island was clagged in, so we made for the North Coast to the definitively esoteric, Carmel Head. At the bottom of The Lost Pillar of Schieser (XS 5c/E2ish), a big, brown groove to the left called out to be climbed. Access was guarded by a steep cave, but, not one to miss the opportunity for a first ascent, I embarked into the unknown. I was quickly sucked into the roof, stuffing in cams like a drunken boxer, the rock around me shattered and made a beeline for Davey Jones’ locker. Out of the frying pan, the tottering brown groove above licked with blue flame. Pillars, flakes and blobs all fell to a watery grave; I wondered if I was next? The climbing up delicate school gutters and brittle trees in my youth paid dividends here as I was forced to distribute my weight evenly; thighs and elbows taking their fair share. I really enjoy the movement prescribed by choss, I was engrossed until I had both feet back on terra firma. The Legacy of Scooby lives on at XS 5c (E4ish).

Seal Pup Scoob. Mikey Goldthorp Collection.

The next day, Jemma and I found perhaps the only climbable conditions in North Wales, at Craig y Foreskin. In a constant mild-drizzle maelstrom, Jemma moseyed up Sangfroid Direct (E2 5c), and marched up the magnificent Great Wall (E4 5c). Alternately, I meandered up Manhattan (E5 6b), and crimped my way up the surprisingly superb and perfectly protected Space Mountain (E5 6a). We had no hassle from the landowner, and Space Mountain is an absolute ‘must-do’ for any E5 wall climber.

After a rest day, Gwen and I went to the Orme, sheltering from the wind. Determined to get the most out the day we climbed Contusion (6c) to warm-up. I then retroflashed Bloodsports (7b), followed by an impressive flash from Gwen. We moved into the sun and I onsighted the surprisingly difficult; Scary Canary (E5 6a/b), the safe and intense Flake Away (E5 6b) and Private Investigations (E5 6b). The latter giving a shit spooky experience yarding off a skinny ‘handle’ of improbable strength. This was my first ‘E5 hat trick’. Shame the Orme doesn’t count.

In Memory of the late, great, turd factory; Scooby. Kieran King Kollection.

2013: The Beginning

In January I went to Tremadog. I hadn't trad climbed much for nearly 2 months. It felt fantastic. It felt natural. I felt at home. I'd been struggling with psyche since receiving my 6th annual finger injury on New Year's Eve (an accident waiting to happen after the stone I gained over Christmas and the deep dehydration from too much festive drinking), I'd wondered what to do with myself, whether to keep climbing, or not! That day in January though, that day reminded me why I climb; the freedom, the clarity, the fear, the effort, the pump, the utter engrossment, the doubt, the mental dissidence, the triumph and the rush!

The Ochre Slab on Vector (E2 5c). Dan Lane Photography.

I managed to keep getting to Tremadog once or twice a week, between rain and routesetting, mopping up some classics and working up through the grades, highlights being a repeat of the justifiably infamous Vector (E2 5c), the testing and diverse Pippikin (E4 6a) and the sublime Spare Rib (E4 6a). I managed a stunning day out in the Lakes with Matt Burdekin after setting at The Kendal Wall. We walked in up frozen marshland to the bottom of the initially underwhelming 'Burnt Crag'.  Matt cruised up the two bridging corners of Double Trouble (E3 6a) and Splinter (E3 5c), while I went ground up on a superb technical wall, Burning Desire (E5 6b). First go, I fought my way up to just short of the top until a long, committing move left me stranded and pumping out on a flatty. I had 2 blindly-placed rp's by my feet and only two options, keep climbing (not an option) or drop onto the rp's. Fortunately, they held and the second time round I had enough left in the tank to press it out for the top.

Swing round the top arete on Spare Rib (E4 6a). Dan Lane Photography.

The highlight of the trad season so far has to be a fluvial accent of 'The best E4 at Gogarth'; Pagan (E4 5c). The unbendingly, unperturbed Ullrich whipped down the rope first, indicating up that it was all good, giving me the go ahead to follow. As I abbed diagonally down the wall I thought to myself 'Well, it's a good job Pagan is dry, every other route is gopping'. I noticed two things when I reached the bottom of the route, firstly, George was laughing, second, I was getting wet. Tiptoeing around the sodden ground I looked above to see a bulge running with water, dripping all over us. The Ullrich had found himself committed at the bottom of the zawn so instead of prussiking out up the soaking ramp, like anyone else, he called me down so we were both stuck there.
It was decided that in some way it might be a good idea to attempt the route, good practice or something. I sat under the shower singing and dancing to keep warm and sane while George led pitch one behind a watery veil. The situation was ridiculous. At the first belay we realised the route kicked back left, through the soaking bulge! I set off pulling on pockets full of water, spilling out and down my sleeves. 'Why does this feel fun?'. I tried to force a line just right of the wetness, but it wasn't happening. I slithered through the goppage getting wet all over, straight into a sustained, run-out wall without a chance to catch my breath or dry my feet. Once at the second belay it was very windy thankfully so I dried off quite quick. Then, while george was midway up the third pitch a dirty, black cloud rolled in above, I shouted to let him know, so he went slower, timing it to perfection to top out just as the cloud burst and I got my 3rd soaking of the day. Karma came when George tried to pull the abb rope and got it jammed, rigging a pulley system only made things worse and off he went back down to free the rope. I made sandwiches and found an ideal vantage point to watch the struggle back out.

Off Moligna (7c+), Roca de la Espanelles, Margalef. Rachel Wilson Collection.

On a whim, I booked flights out to Spain, chucked a bivvy bag and a pair of shorts in my rucksack, jumped on a plane, jumped off, jumped on a train, jumped off, jumped on a bus, jumped off, walked the wrong way downhill for 4km, walked the right way uphill for 10km, hitched a lift and found myself at the Siurana Campsite. Hot from my big walk I didn't notice the icy temperatures, it was only when I awoke that I realised how cold it was and how under prepared I was. I met up with Jake Rogers who sorted me out with some food and lifts, after a few days in Siurana we met up with George and Rach, who brought more food and warm clothes. We all moved on to Margalef where things got consistently sub zero. Then Steve Ramsden turned up as it began snowing with more warm things including a tent and a down jacket, and Jon Freeman lent me a 'borrowed' blanket (Thanks everyone for sorting me out, I would have been screwed without you all).

All six of us headed to the best crag I've ever been to (Gogarth's an area!); Bruixes Wall, Terradets. It's simply stunning. 300m long, 35m high, gently overhanging all the way, dripping with tufa pipes and brimming with jugs. It suited me down to the tittle; lots of options for your feet, lots of holds to rest on and soft grades. On the first day there I surpassed any expectations I had for the trip and flashed El Latido del Meido (8a). On the 3rd day I kept the ball rolling and managed my first 8a+, Flix Flax. On the 4th I quickly redpointed Maneras de Vivre (8a), and on the 5th I gave it everything I had left and managed Energia Positiva (7c+) second go, and onsighted Orient (7c+). After this, everyone I was with had left and I climbed with Gerd the Aussie. We went to Santa Linya, the enormous cave crammed with 9b's and Sant Llorenc de Montgai, the old home of hard Spanish climbing, but then I missed trad climbing too much so I came back to Britain, to my van, my dog and our rain.

Jake using speed to his advantage on our new game at L'olla, Siurana (try getting from the first section of L'olla to beneath L'Elephant without hands using only the wall). Rachel Wilson Collection).

The Magnificent Bruixes Wall, Terradets. George Ullrich topping out Flix Flax (8a+). Rachel Wilson Collection.

The Gymnastic Element

I rode the crest of the wave out of the route season strait into winter bouldering bay. A six-strong team of eclectic rock afficionados met together under one banner for a day of high-frequency crushing at the Wavelength Boulders. After the usual warm-up on the utopian Utopia boulder we headed to higher grounds to begin the siege. I managed to get Plinth Eyed (7B), a brilliant roof problem on the Pie-Shop boulder, on my second go after make a silly mistake on the flash. Then we pressed on up to ol' Wavelength herself. Jack introduced me to a 7A/+ slopey compression prow; Gav' Sitter and I managed to flash this with a nifty heelhook. The team headed up to Killer Weed (6C), Laura quickly dispatched this and Gwen was very unlucky to not quite get the top hold. Next time Gwen.
We trooped back down the hill to the brilliant Boysen's Boulder where Gwen levelled the field with an impressive and enduring flash of Boysen's Groove (6B). I played on The Witch (7B), a powerful problem that I never thought I'd be able to do a couple of years ago. The moves came together quite quick but it took a lot of goes to make the link. A great finish to a perfect days bouldering!



Me sieging The Witch (7B). Laura Perry Collection.

A couple of days later Laura, Dunc, Burdekin and I hit the Craig y Llyn Boulder. I'd heard mixed reports about the place from 'one of the best problems in wales' to 'shit'. On first appearances we were underwhelmed. The nice, leaning face, veiled by a tree and a boulder, played its cards close to its chest. We laid out mats out beneath, a peace offering. After a quick warm-up on some nearby jugs we proceeded to conga our way up Voie Normale (6b+). The next obvious link to try is Alice High (7A) which adds a couple of moves either side, I fluked a flash and Dunc and Matt got it quickly. Logical progression led us onto Voie Normale SS (7a+), I tried for the flash again and got it. Inspired and feeling confident I jumped on Alice (7A+) and flashed this too. Meanwhile Matt got Voie Normale SS and Laura got Alice High while Dunc got devastatingly close on Alice. I was distinctly aware of the Alice Normale link-up (7B), with a perfect score so far the pressure to flash it was keeping me quiet, I rehearsed the moves mentally having done most the moves through the original problems. I cleared my head with a bit of breathing and snapped into the first moves. I had to fight but it went down in the first round. Although, it's not really a flash (having done the originals) it was good practice for dealing with the pressure of trying to flash stuff, something which I really want to try and develop with my climbing, or perhaps old habits just die hard.
Maybe I'm biased but this block is well worth checking out, especially if you like leaning walls with positive holds!

The next day, armed with a hangover, 11 Cambrian Terrace (Dunc, Laura and I) went to Elephantitus Cave. The eponymous problem is another one I had declared impossible for me a few years ago. Weighing in at 7a, brilliant moves through a large roof lead to a total stopper move throwing off a nasty crimp to a sloping blob. Expecting to dispatch it quite easily this day, after my a couple of hours trying I was ready to give up. Dunc suggested taping the tips for the final crimp. Mummified, I could pull that little extra to make up the momentum for latching the blob and soon smashed in another nemesis. Definitely 7A+!
Given the recent spell of good form, when Sheep Pen was suggested I was happy to go along fro the day. I took a back seat for most the day watching everyone tick Klem's Arete (6B+), Kingdom of Rain (7A) and Toe Dragon (6C). At the end of the day I had a few goes at THE Pinch (7A+). This amazing problem snatches up from two crimps to a Big. Fat. Pinch. Then you paste your feet on the vaguest of vagrants and lay one on for the sloping, scooped lip. Having always previously been unable to hold 'the' pinch, simply being able to grab the bugger spurred me on no end. I had a few goes and was getting close to making the distance. Then it started raining and everyone wanted to leave. I'd been drawn in to the 'one more go' thing and just couldn't go. On my 5th 'last go' once everyones patience had worn thin, they began the pack up. I frantically cleaned my boots, the holds, the hands, the mind. One big effort and ill stick this. I snatched the pinch and gave it some, then in one big, screaming, uncharacteristic explosion I stuck the damp velcro top, mantled and ran down the hill after the departing team.

I had a brief trip to the peak, thwarted primarily by rain the first day, and a hangover the following two. Day 1 I managed to get all the moves on Hannibal (7C) at Tom's Cave, Stoney but my shoulder had enough before I could get the link. Very powerful. The following day I highballed out Hard Cheddar (E5 6b, or 6B+! in new money) with Guy VG, Oli G, and Chris Barr. Here's a little video for budding filmmaker Guy Van Greuning: http://vimeo.com/53399556
Next day, Laura, Dunc, Tommy and I went to Gardoms. After everyone smashed in Gardoms North, including a very special, long term project tick for Laura on Mark's Roof Left Hand (7A) we headed to the South End. I peeled off the top of Suavito (7B) more times than I'd like to mention and never quite managed to get it. I'd call it a nemesis problem but its so, so good and the line in undeniably one of the best in the whole country.

Several Nemesi down, this winter could shape up to be a great bouldering season. Just pull harder every go, keep breathing, maintain the tips and most of all don't get bloody injured again!!

Finally, here's a list I've compiled of the 100 best problems in North Wales. It's still 2 or 3 short so any suggestions are welcome!

The 100 Greatest in North Wales

3+ - 6B

Ysgo Crack-Porth Ysgo 5
The Ramp-Porth Ysgo 6a+

The Ramp-Cromlech 5+
Utopia Groove-Wavelength 5
Paul’s Bulge-Wavelength 6b
Boysen’s Groove-Wavelength 6b
The Seam-Pont y Gromlech 6b
Marsh Arete-RAC 6a
Cost of Living-Gallt yr Ogof 5+
The Thin Slab-Gallt yr Ogof 6a
Caseg Fraith Arete-Caseg Fraith 6a+
Idwal Squeeze-Idwal Cottage 3
The Ramp-Braichmelyn 6a

6B+ -6C+

Wren Arete-Angel Bay 6c
Chaos Emerald Crack-Angel Bay 6c+
Lincoln Hawk-Pigeon’s Cave 6c
Fast Cars-Porth Ysgo 6c+
Higginson’s Scar-Porth Ysgo 6b+
Made in Heaven-Porth Ysgo 6b+
Ministry of Silly Hats-Talfarach 6b+
Pac Man Arete-Pac Man 6b+
Lordy Lordy-The Meadow 6c
Killer Weed-Wavelength 6c
Moose’s Toothpaste-Cwm Glas Bach 6c+
Viking Invasion-RAC Crag 6c+
Riley’s Arete SS-Crafnant 6c+
Caseg Groove-Caseg 6c
Central Wall-Braichmelyn 6c+
Klem’s Arete-Sheep Pen 6b+
Toe Dragon-Sheep Pen 6c
Red Sky Wall-Clogwyn y Tarw 6c
Jez’s Arete-Milestone Boulders 6b+
Pit Start-Milestone Boulders 6c
Seren-Orion Boulder 6b+
George’s Crack-Lily Savage Boulders 6c+

7A - 7B

Clever Beaver-Parisella’s Cave 7b
Left Wall Traverse-Parisella’s Cave 7b
The Limpet-Angel Bay 7a
Popcorn Party-Porth Ysgo 7a
Truth SS-Porth Ysgo 7a+
Incredible Shaking Man SS-Porth Ysgo 7b

Jawbreaker SS-7b

Ding Dong’s Arete SS-Porth Ysgo 7b
Pill Box Original-Pill Box 7a
Fish Skin Wall-7a+
King of Drunks-Wavelength 7a
Willy Two Goes-The Meadow 7b
The Minimum-The Barrel 7a+
Jerry’s Wall SS-Carreg Wastad 7b

NASA-Craig y Llwyfan 7a
Elephantitus-Craig y Fulfran 7a+
Bustach Prow-Clogwyn y Bustach 7b
Voie Normale (SS)-Craig y Llyn 7a+
Clear Spot-Beddgelert 7b
Chummers Wall-Moel y Gest 7a/+
Mallory’s Crack-Mallory Boulder 7a+
Bingo Wings-Crag X 7a+
Sex Bob-omb-Ffestiniog 7a+
Wonderwall-Crafnant 7b
Smackhead-Gallt yr Ogof 7b

Lily Savage-Lily Savage Boulders 7b

Harvey Oswald-Milestone Boulders 7a
Ogwen Arete-Idwal Cottage 7a

Kingdom of Rain-Sheep Pen 7a
The Pinch-Sheep Pen 7a+
The Gimp-Caseg 7b

7B+ - 7C+

Left Wall High-Parisella’s Cave 7c
Lou Ferrino-Parisella’s Cave 7c+

Millenium Drive-Pill Box Wall 7c
14 Years Later-Pigeon’s Cave 7b+

The Main Event-Benellech Crags 7b+

Mutant Child SS-Porth Ysgo 7b+

Sloace-Talfarach 7b+
Lotus-Wavelength 7c+
The Big Smile-Dinas Mot 7c
Barrel Traverse-The Barrel 7c
Jerry’s Roof-Cromlech 7c
Lizard King-Craig y Llwyfan 7b+ - 7c+

Cosmic Wheels-Mallory Boulder 7c+
Ultimate Warrior-Craig yr Ogof 7b+

Cruella-Crafnant 7b+
Special K-Crafnant 7c+
Animal Magnetism 7b+

Paul O’Grady SS-Lily Savage 7c
Renaissance of a Small Hold-Ogwen Cottage 7b+
Don’t Think, Feel-Caseg 7b+
Main Vein-Caseg 7c+

8’s

Broken Trigger-Parisella’s Cave 8a+
Dorsal Stream-Parisella’s Cave 8b
Silk Cut-Parisella’s Cave 8b+

Pilgrimage-Parisella’s Cave 8b+
Mr Fantastic-Cromlech 8a
Pool of Bethesda-Cromlech 8a+

Cross Therapy-Craig y Fulfran 8a
Beautitude Kiss-Moel y Gest 8a

The Slopey Rail Project-Ffestiniog 8?
Isles of Wonder-Carreg Mianog 8b
Caseg Groove SS-Caseg Boulder 8a+